Obviously!!

I have been having a hard time lately. I'm at the end of a pregnancy, Mike has not been home a lot, and I still have 4 little tykes to take care of. In the midst of all this, I had found myself completely depleted physically, emotionally and spiritually. I said earnest prayers to plead for help. The answers came through my book group and our stake presidency.

Our book group is reading Thomas S. Monson's biography: "To The Rescue" I don't care what religion you are, this man's life will inspire you to look outwardly and to love others. I have been so humbled by his story of service to his God and to us.

Mike and I went to "17 Miracles" on Saturday night. It is the story of the Willie Handcart company. Of course it was a bawl fest for me, but most of all it was a life stopper. After the movie Mike and I didn't say anything for quites awhile. As we were heading to our car after the movie, Mike said, "We have been focusing on what kind of home we want, when we should probably be focusing on how we can help others". All I could say was, "All I know is that I have no desire to watch any other movie ever."

I have had an obvious epiphany.

I am a reader. I always have been. I used to call my fiction-reading an "escape" for me. I've realized this last couple weeks that I don't need an "escape", just inspiration. I need to fill my life with the good things. I've noticed that since reading "To the Rescue" I've had no time for reality TV, reading fiction (which by the way, I don't think is bad, let's not get confused...), or feeling sorry for my situation. Yes, my life is hard. But, things will get better and easier when I learn to love my situation for exactly what it is, hard and fulfilling. I have made a decision to fill my life with inspriation from those who would have me live my best life. Join me?

Mother's Day, and a very long paragraph.

The first week of April started off fantastic. My parents had driven down from Washington to spend their spring break with my family. It was so nice to have them. I don't know if I could have gotten two more loving, generous, low-stress, and non dramatic parents. They were a dream. My mom couldn't sleep because she was thinking about everything she wanted to help me with around the house. She and my dad would go out and come home with something new for the house. She dusted and beautifully arranged my previously scattered bookshelves, put kid hooks in the front door closet with a basket on the floor for shoes (oh.....they don't have to be covering the floor, riiighhht), Cleaned and put out my nice dishes (with some more she bought) into my china cabinet, swept under my couches where there is wood floors, and so many more things. After she had done her magic, I looked around my house and thought I had won the lottery. My dad is very good at talking. That may sound weird. There is nothing like sitting down in a room with my dad and talking about anything and everything. He would never talk viciously about anyone, he is intelligent, insightful and funny. I had a conversation with Mike last night about my parents. Earlier in the day, my mom called. I should also add that it was her birthday. She called to inform me of the plan for when I have this baby. Here's the plan- Mom flies down as soon as the baby is born, dad will drive down. after a couple days, Mom and dad will take the four oldest kids back to Washington with them, in our van and leave their car with us in Utah. They will stay in Washington far a week while Mike and I can bond with our new little guy, (Beau? Austin? Who the heck knows.) and my sister, Amy, will take Cason and Brock and my mom will take Rhett and Taycie. After the week, they will drive them back to Utah, and drive their car back home. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful parents. Mike and I were talking about my parents last night. Who is more outgoing? Obvious. Mike then said, "Well, I know your mom like to go out and do lots of things, she is always really busy." And my reply? "Mom stays busy because she is always thinking of what someone needs. If I go out with her it's because she thinks I need to go out. If she is helping around the house, it's because she remembers her burdens as a young mother and wants to lift them from my shoulders. I'm sure if she was thinking about herself, she would be doing the same things. My mom is happy helping. My dad 0nce commented that they figured out quite early as a young married couple a few things about themselves. He gave the example of going to parties with other young marrieds early in their marriage. After the party, they would go home and mom would have to go straight to sleep while my dad would be wide awake. My dad is energized by interactions with people, my mom is drained by them. I really think my parents are so perfect for each other.

So I have a problem. Actually, we all have a problem. Why is it that we are disappointed in ourselves when we are not like those we admire? Well, the answer should be obvious. Here is the truth, we are not them. I love and admire and respect my parents. I've thrown many well attended pity parties with the theme of "I'll never be that patient" or the classic, "I yell too much". I am so grateful for the example of my parents. Now I need to go be the best mom I can for my kids. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. In the last two weeks, I have heard from different people in varying ways the truth that if you are trying, that is enough. I have had to have that repeated many times so that it would become a truth in my life. I believe it whole heartedly now. I hope you do too! Happy belated Mother's Day!!

New Blog

Here is my new blog! I needed a place that was more for my thoughts and feelings rather than just pictures and events with my family (although that will be in there too). Come check out my new blogging adventure. I am hoping this one stays a little more updated!

rightitout.blogspot.com

Brock's World

My sweet Blue-Eyed Boy. Enough cuddles for everyone.

He is Superman with "Muscle Powers!".

Well, a little more vulnerable than Superman, considering he has had his share of spills.

Bad moods do come.....but pass with an "I love you" just as quickly as they come.

This sums up Brock's days as well as mine. Although this video was almost a year ago, just imagine the same thing with a little more violence for what happens today.

We love our Brocky. He makes our family special.

Fresh Spring start!

Well........This is awkward. I haven't updated this blog since November? Wow. Well, here's to turning a new leaf.......again. Let's just jump in with a very lengthy "I've really been doing this all along" post.

Here is to my new goal.

I borrowed this from my friend Jayna's blog.

Why can't I just sit and read with my kids? I want to. I know I need to. I should.

Okay, I'll do it!

I want two of these beds, for two of my boys......please, Fate, give me all I want.

Oh, yeah, and if it's not to much to ask, this bedding for Taycie's new full bed? Thanks.

Not that it is as cool to me as someone else, but I got to see the Lakers sans Shaq (just my luck) this close!

I have to admit that the dinner they served before was much more my highlight of the night.

There is just something about food made by people other than me that just makes me happy.

WARNING! GRAPHIC PICTURES!!

We have had two incidences with stitches in the last couple months. First, Taycie, who thought it was a brilliant idea to get the dried playdoh out of her cookie cutter with our sharpest Cutco Knife!

10 stitches. She has a nasty scar, but don't worry about her! She didn't cry and she was certainly glad she had one more stitch than her brother, Brock, who slipped on our wood stairs and split his chin.

No crying to get them in, but oh, you better believe they had to have three people holding him down to get those buggers out. He was screaming "Let go of ME!" "MOM, MOM, MOM!" I was in tears by the time it was over. Drama.

Uncle Evan has been living with us since early November. I love to have the company. He is going into the Air Force to either be in Combat Control, or a Pararescue Man. I only know a little, he knows a lot more, but he is at the gym a ton and comes home to tell me all the goings on. I love it, and him.

And, he FINALLY cut his hair! Praise the Lord, because it is truly a miracle!

Have I told you about my friends lately? Here is Lisa.

Some people don't need to interact with other adult females. I do. Yes, we talk about our kids incessantly, but we also laugh and cry about every aspect of our lives! I don't know what I would do without my friends, they are the best, now Lisa, Pictures don't wait, so SMILE!

So I'm 27(?) weeks pregnant with our 5th child. It's a BOY! Big surprise...yes, I was dissapointed at first, I already struggle with the youngest two fighting and I thought a girl would be far enough away from Taycie to not fight over clothes (like me and my sisters did) and not interested in fighting like boys usually are. (Physical fighting, at least)

But I have to say, my boys are special. They are always cuddling. They watch shows with both hands behind their head! Squabbles are usually resolved with a punch to the offending's kidney and then over with. And I hear you can just shave their heads and throw them in the backyard.

So, if you don't know by now, I am obsessed with names. I am struggling with this here darn boy. I think I like "A". I might like Austin. I could go for Adler. Aaron is my sister's name (Erin). Allen is too blah. Alex would be problematic for my marriage (past boyfriend). Any other ideas?

Cancun, Family and Friends

I'm feeling ungrateful gratitude. Wait, let me start over...

Mike is involved with Dish Network and Direct TV. Because he and all the rest of Dish One/Bioguard (our pest control company) work so hard and are so good at what they do, Mike and I have gone on numerous trips recognizing him and the rest of the hard-working guys for their accomplishments. I've been to Bahamas (3 times), Florida Keys, Istanbul, Ephesus (ruins are AWESOME!), Belize, Cozumel, Puerto Vallarta, Greece, Italy, Pompei!!, and just recently Direct TV sent us to Cancun.

So here comes the ungrateful part. I'm DONE! I feel guilty leaving kids, I miss them, and honestly, if you've been to one tropical island, you've been to them all. Same souvenirs, same water, same beaches, same little kids trying to sell you the same little flutes (it breaks my heart), and although Europe is cool, I think I'm not the traveling kind......yet. I think it goes back to my early days when I would read in my room for hours doodling and thinking of those boys I was interested at the time. I'm comfortable where I live. I still think about that house on John Day where I grew up till I was in third grade.

Here is the grateful part. All of the help we get with our kids! Uncle Jeremy and Auntie Robyn watched Brock and Taycie. Taycie threw up one day, Brock diarreahed in his underwear more than once. Oh. My. Goodness. Awards, anyone? And when Robyn's parents were in town and they needed to get away, there was Brigitte to watch them and take them to Farm Country and show them a good time. Cason and Rhett were with Jeremy and Nadia Jackson, some good friends of ours. Don't worry, Cason threw up one night, as well. While there, my boys were treated to Farm Country, Home Depot's building center, Swimming!, parks, rock climbing and an actually sweet woman instead of their cranky old mom! I just couldn't have asked for better people to take care of my kids. I'm am grateful for their willingness and comments of "We'll take them anytime!" My heart is full because of them, not Cancun.

So here's some news....I'm pregnant for the 5th......yes, 5th time! Number 5 is due June 18th! Mike is ready to take the fetal position himself, but we can do anything with the Lord's help......right? RIGHT!!?? 5 kids 6 and under, and before you ask, yes, we planned it!

Family Pics 2010

It took so long to download these that now I have no energy to write commentary. Just know I was sweating by the time we were done taking pictures. www.sanaejames.com did the pics, she is amazing and when we move (when, not if) I might have to come back to Utah just to have our pics taken.