Monday, September 3, 2012


I have been having a hard time lately. I'm at the end of a pregnancy, Mike has not been home a lot, and I still have 4 little tykes to take care of. In the midst of all this, I had found myself completely depleted physically, emotionally and spiritually. I said earnest prayers to plead for help. The answers came through my book group and our stake presidency.

Our book group is reading Thomas S. Monson's biography: "To The Rescue" I don't care what religion you are, this man's life will inspire you to look outwardly and to love others. I have been so humbled by his story of service to his God and to us.

Mike and I went to "17 Miracles" on Saturday night. It is the story of the Willie Handcart company. Of course it was a bawl fest for me, but most of all it was a life stopper. After the movie Mike and I didn't say anything for quites awhile. As we were heading to our car after the movie, Mike said, "We have been focusing on what kind of home we want, when we should probably be focusing on how we can help others". All I could say was, "All I know is that I have no desire to watch any other movie ever."

I have had an obvious epiphany.

I am a reader. I always have been. I used to call my fiction-reading an "escape" for me. I've realized this last couple weeks that I don't need an "escape", just inspiration. I need to fill my life with the good things. I've noticed that since reading "To the Rescue" I've had no time for reality TV, reading fiction (which by the way, I don't think is bad, let's not get confused...), or feeling sorry for my situation. Yes, my life is hard. But, things will get better and easier when I learn to love my situation for exactly what it is, hard and fulfilling. I have made a decision to fill my life with inspriation from those who would have me live my best life. Join me?

Mother's Day, and a very long paragraph.

The first week of April started off fantastic. My parents had driven down from Washington to spend their spring break with my family. It was so nice to have them. I don't know if I could have gotten two more loving, generous, low-stress, and non dramatic parents. They were a dream. My mom couldn't sleep because she was thinking about everything she wanted to help me with around the house. She and my dad would go out and come home with something new for the house. She dusted and beautifully arranged my previously scattered bookshelves, put kid hooks in the front door closet with a basket on the floor for shoes (oh.....they don't have to be covering the floor, riiighhht), Cleaned and put out my nice dishes (with some more she bought) into my china cabinet, swept under my couches where there is wood floors, and so many more things. After she had done her magic, I looked around my house and thought I had won the lottery. My dad is very good at talking. That may sound weird. There is nothing like sitting down in a room with my dad and talking about anything and everything. He would never talk viciously about anyone, he is intelligent, insightful and funny. I had a conversation with Mike last night about my parents. Earlier in the day, my mom called. I should also add that it was her birthday. She called to inform me of the plan for when I have this baby. Here's the plan- Mom flies down as soon as the baby is born, dad will drive down. after a couple days, Mom and dad will take the four oldest kids back to Washington with them, in our van and leave their car with us in Utah. They will stay in Washington far a week while Mike and I can bond with our new little guy, (Beau? Austin? Who the heck knows.) and my sister, Amy, will take Cason and Brock and my mom will take Rhett and Taycie. After the week, they will drive them back to Utah, and drive their car back home. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful parents. Mike and I were talking about my parents last night. Who is more outgoing? Obvious. Mike then said, "Well, I know your mom like to go out and do lots of things, she is always really busy." And my reply? "Mom stays busy because she is always thinking of what someone needs. If I go out with her it's because she thinks I need to go out. If she is helping around the house, it's because she remembers her burdens as a young mother and wants to lift them from my shoulders. I'm sure if she was thinking about herself, she would be doing the same things. My mom is happy helping. My dad 0nce commented that they figured out quite early as a young married couple a few things about themselves. He gave the example of going to parties with other young marrieds early in their marriage. After the party, they would go home and mom would have to go straight to sleep while my dad would be wide awake. My dad is energized by interactions with people, my mom is drained by them. I really think my parents are so perfect for each other.
So I have a problem. Actually, we all have a problem. Why is it that we are disappointed in ourselves when we are not like those we admire? Well, the answer should be obvious. Here is the truth, we are not them. I love and admire and respect my parents. I've thrown many well attended pity parties with the theme of "I'll never be that patient" or the classic, "I yell too much". I am so grateful for the example of my parents. Now I need to go be the best mom I can for my kids. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. In the last two weeks, I have heard from different people in varying ways the truth that if you are trying, that is enough. I have had to have that repeated many times so that it would become a truth in my life. I believe it whole heartedly now. I hope you do too! Happy belated Mother's Day!!